Hobbies have become a luxury.
At some point, we began to wear the phrase, “Who has time for hobbies these days?” like a badge of honor. Hobbies are treated as exclusive possessions for those who have achieved success, or as electives that can easily be pushed aside by the struggles of making a living. However, on the long voyage of life, we call the time spent mending sails and observing the wind direction a luxury, and as a result, we end up exhausted before we even reach our destination.
[Case 1] Job Seeker K’s Lost Palette
K used to love watercolor painting. Watching the saturation of the paint as the brush tip touched the paper made the noise of the world seem to subside. However, as job hunting dragged on, a cold censor emerged within him. “Why don’t you memorize one more TOEIC word instead of painting? Will that raise your salary or build your career?” Since that day, his palette has frozen, and he only spends his time “efficiently.” But ironically, the more she pursued efficiency, the more colorless her life became.
[Case 2] Mr. L, a Solo Entrepreneur After Retirement, and His Old Fishing Rod
After retirement, Mr. L opened a small consulting office. Fishing, once her only pleasure, had now become a pastime tinged with guilt. “How much would it cost to close the shop for a day? I should send one more email during that time.” What she gained by abandoning her hobby was a slightly more compact ledger, but what she lost was a tiny bit of psychological space where she could ventilate herself.
[Case 3] Mr. M, a Freelancer, and His Folded Yoga Mat
Ms. M loved yoga. The time spent focusing solely on her breathing and muscles felt like a spiritual cleansing. However, as deadlines piled up and work piled up, even an hour of unrolling her yoga mat felt like a sin. “I need to focus on work now, exercise later.” She willingly erased herself, but one day, she looked in the mirror and faced an unfamiliar expression. I accomplished everything, but the “me” who actually accomplished it wasn’t happy.
A hobby isn’t a “play,” it’s a “breathing hole.”
Giving up a hobby isn’t simply about cutting off a single pastime. It’s a dangerous act, like blocking the steam vent of a bubbling pressure cooker. The essence of a hobby isn’t skill or profit. The key is to rediscover that feeling of “only when I do this do I feel like I’m back to myself.”
Ironically, when a hobby disappears, life becomes more “expensive.” In its place, a lack of laughter leads to a sense of unreasonable lethargy and burnout, which ultimately leads to poor health and impulsive spending, ultimately incurring even greater costs. Life requires the “usefulness of uselessness.” Hobbies aren’t just for the wealthy; they’re an essential “emotional respirator” for those barely making it through the day.
Family is like strangers living in the same house—a living room devoid of conversation
Even in the evening, the lights are on in every house, but the air inside is strangely chilly. Even when gathered in the living room, each person remains in a separate digital world. Though we live under the same roof, our hearts resemble those of a boarding house, each living separately.
[Case] Conversation that has become an “attendance check” rather than a “well-being check”
The conversation between a husband who returns home late and a wife watching TV ends with “Are you home?” and “Yes.” This isn’t a mutual greeting, but more of an attendance check, a reminder of survival. Asking, “How was your day?” often yields a dry, “Same old.” In truth, no two days are alike. Surely, there were sorrows to be expressed, small joys to be shared, but the emotional energy to express them has simply run out.
Families have become a “life management team” operating the household budget, rather than a community of shared feelings. Because we’ve exhausted all our kindness and laughter for others outside, the affection we have left for those most precious to us has dwindled to 0%. Conversations with family disappear not because we lack time, but because we lack the “space in our hearts.”
Conversations with family aren’t strategy meetings to solve problems. They’re “survival signals,” confirming our mutual presence. Work moves forward even with few words, but relationships quietly drift apart when we stop talking. Tonight, try saying just one short phrase: “I had a hard time outside today, but it’s nice to see you.” That small gesture will be the starting point for transforming our once cold boarding house into “our home.”
Days When Even Contact from Friends Feels Like Homework
One day, a friend’s “Let’s meet up sometime” message feels more burdensome than welcome. Why does this phrase, which should be a token of friendship, feel like an unfinished task with no deadline?
[Case] People with a Drained Emotional Battery
We often reply to friends’ messages, then erase them. Saying “I’m doing well” is too complicated, and saying “I’m struggling” doesn’t have the energy to explain it. What really keeps us busy isn’t work, but our emotions. We exhaust our energy on the expectations of others and social responsibilities, leaving us with no emotional capacity left to ask how someone is doing.
Meeting people consumes more energy than we realize. Empathizing, laughing, and sharing our innermost feelings require physical strength. That’s why even friendships become a real burden, a burden that requires tapping on an “energy calculator.” But remember: not being able to contact someone isn’t because you’re indifferent, but because you’re working too hard. Just as a car stalls when its engine overheats, a heart overloaded with stress tends to close its doors to others.
The path to maintaining relationships isn’t about being perfectly affectionate. The courage to honestly say, “I’m not free right now, so I’ll contact you later,” protects you and your friendships. When a gap appears in your life, your heart will soften again.
When was the last time I truly smiled?
One day, you suddenly realize that while you’re smiling in photos, your eyes aren’t smiling at all. The “business smile,” where the corners of your mouth mechanically lift but your heart doesn’t respond, has become your daily routine.
[Case Study] A Life of Postponing Laughter
Many people postpone laughter, thinking, “Once I get through this crisis, I’ll be able to smile comfortably later.” However, laughter isn’t an asset that earns interest. Those who fail to smile today will forget how to smile tomorrow. The moment laughter becomes a service to others rather than an inner resonance, we neglect ourselves.
As parents, we promise to smile “when the child is older,” but the child wants to laugh with us right now. The child’s words, “Mom, you’re prettiest when you smile,” may be a painful confession, reflecting how stiff the parent’s face has always been.
Smiling sincerely is not a luxury. Neuroscientifically, laughter is not a reward, but a “sign of recovery.” When we laugh, our bodies reassure ourselves, saying, “You’re safe now. It’s okay.” Losing your smile doesn’t mean you’ve failed, but rather a powerful warning that you need a “comma” right now.
Living well isn’t about achieving something great, but rather about still having the space to smile authentically. Finding that space is the most important task you must accomplish today.
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