Everyone’s busy, but why do I feel like I’m the busiest?
The world feels like a giant competition arena where “busyness” is treated like a badge of honor. The news talks about relentless innovation, and social media is filled with the energy of people working from dawn to dusk. Phrases like “I’m so busy” and “I don’t have time to breathe” have become commonplace greetings for modern people. But why, amidst this universal busyness, do I feel a sense of incongruity, as if I’m climbing a steeper cliff? While others seem to be beautifully weaving the patterns of their lives even amidst their busyness, why does my busyness feel like an abrasive, wearing me down?
The endless onslaught of work is like pouring water into a bottomless pit. As soon as I finish one project, two more tasks surge in, and just when I’m trying to catch my breath, a messenger notification shatters the silence like a scream. On the way home from work, email notifications streaming across my smartphone screen shatter any sense of liberation.
True “off” doesn’t come simply from moving physical space. When I open my front door, boxes waiting to be sorted and dusty, tucked away corners greet me. Organizing my household budget, paying overdue utility bills, scheduling health checkups… These invisible tasks bind me without vacation time or weekend allowance.
Even if I briefly settle down on the sofa, the digital world in the palm of my hand calls me ceaselessly. Amidst the meaningless chatter in group chats and the endless flood of information, I flick my fingers a few times, and before I know it, dawn has arrived.
“What was I so busy for today?”
The moment this question strikes me most is when I realize that despite working tirelessly for a minute, I haven’t had a single second left for myself.
I once knew a freelance writer who always claimed to have “no time” and lived in isolation. Yet, strangely enough, despite being pressed for time, he still went flower-viewing each season and posted photos of his carefully prepared table every morning. I used to feel self-deprecating, thinking that this leisure was a kind of deception. “How can someone with an unstable income and more deadlines than me enjoy such luxury?”
Only later did I realize the problem wasn’t the physical amount of time. My life lacked the steering wheel of “initiative.” We spend all day performing tasks, but rarely do we actually choose to do them. Driven by the desire to meet others’ expectations or by a vague fear of falling behind, we spend our days feeling more like “being attacked” than “acting.” We’re constantly absorbing external tasks, so even though our days are packed, our spirits feel suffocated.
“I have to live diligently.”
When did this phrase, once a source of hope, become a hamster wheel that imprisons us? Today, diligence is less about “progress” and more about “holding on.” This pathological diligence, which makes us feel like we’ll collapse if we stop and feel guilty if we rest, ultimately exhausts us.
The reason you’re struggling so much is simple. Because you’re endlessly draining your energy to match someone else’s speedometer. I’m not telling you to throw everything away irresponsibly. However, I’d like to suggest that now is the time to consider “efficiency for yourself.”
What you need, when you’re out of breath, isn’t a pair of more powerful sneakers, but a moment to pause and re-tie your shoelaces. It’s okay to slow down a little, even if only for the time you’re reading this book. The path from meaningless busyness to a life of purpose begins with that brief pause.
The Trap of Saying Hard Work Will Make You Succeed
We grew up believing the myth that “hard work never betrays you” as if it were a religion. However, those who wrote this maxim are usually those who, at the pinnacle of success, reminisce about the past. They don’t fully embody the desperation of those who, sweating on a crowded bus, worry about tomorrow.
Here’s job seeker A. He’s the perfect example of “hard work.” He attends early morning classes, earns certifications, and writes hundreds of resumes. But society only throws at them the endless task of “better qualifications.” Encouragement like, “Honesty is your weapon,” soon degenerates into self-blame like, “It’s because you’re not good enough.” Diligence becomes a tool that erodes self-esteem, not a ladder toward goals.
Another example is those who are trapped in the “self-improvement swamp.” Algorithms constantly spur us on: “If you don’t do the Miracle Morning, you’ll be eliminated.” “The three hours after work determine your salary.”
We cut back on sleep to attend lectures and devour economics books, but the person we see in the mirror is a lifeless, grayish hue. Our knowledge may have increased, but our life satisfaction has actually declined. Every night, the question, “Do I really have to live like this?” gnaws at us.
The problem isn’t “honesty” itself, but its “direction.” Misdirected passion only leads us to the wrong destination faster. A life where we take a step forward because others are running without even knowing why, ultimately ends in futility. Now, we must ask: “Will I truly smile when I finish this effort?”
Adults often say, “Hardship is worth buying,” but hardship has its own qualities. Some hardships expand us, while others diminish us. We too often dress up the “exhaustion” that “torments us” with the fancy word “sincerity.” No one sees a device with a dead battery and says, “You worked so hard,” and leaves it alone. We plug it in immediately. So why don’t we allow ourselves time to recharge?
The difference isn’t “who endured longer,” but “who took action with more focus on their own lives.” Instead of blindly working hard, we need a commitment to living properly. This isn’t giving up or being lazy. It’s the most proactive survival strategy for protecting ourselves and not losing what’s precious.
The Truth Behind the Saying, “Kids These Days Want to Live Easy”
The older generation’s claim to the younger generation, “Kids These Days Want to Avoid Hardship,” harbors a profound misunderstanding. Are they truly lazy?
- The Weight of Fatigue Doesn’t Discriminate Between Generations
The sight of a 20-something employee looking down at their smartphone on the early morning subway is the same for everyone, whether they’re an executive in their 50s or an employee in their 20s. The weight of life, borne on each individual’s battlefield, is equally heavy.
- [Case Study] Freelance Designer B’s ‘Wise Refusal’
Ms. B politely declines a client’s unreasonable weekend deadline request. Some criticize her for lacking passion, but for her, rest is like raw material for her next project. What she strives for is not ‘comfort,’ but ‘sustainability.’
- [Case Study] New Employee C’s ‘High Efficiency’
Ms. C chooses exercise after work over company dinners. While his seniors call this individualism, Mr. C demonstrates efficiency by minimizing unnecessary personal conversations during the day and completing his work perfectly. For him, working overtime isn’t proof of diligence, but merely a “trace of failure”—a failure to manage the density of his workday.
The reason we feel uncomfortable with their attitude is, in fact, a sense of bewilderment. For a generation that has never been asked, “Why do we have to do this?”, their insistence on rationality is unfamiliar. We’ve been taught that patience is a virtue, but they’re searching for ways to endure without tiring.
The standard for diligence has shifted from “endurance” to “resilience.” Times have changed. Behind the phrase, “Kids these days want to be comfortable,” may lie the older generation’s sad regret, “I couldn’t live that way.” It’s time to acknowledge, “They’re trying to live differently from us.” Perhaps we should learn from them how to create more value while suffering less.
How to Prevent “Sincerity” from Becoming “Exploitation”
Sincerous people struggle with rejection. They shoulder others’ burdens, thinking, “If I work a little harder, everyone will be better off.” However, the moment your sense of responsibility is perceived as a “resource to be taken for granted,” your diligence becomes a target of exploitation.
[Case 1] Professional: “There’s no one else who can do it but you.”
Mr. D, a professional recognized for his abilities, constantly piles up tasks with ambiguous boundaries. His boss’s compliment, “I’ll feel better if Mr. D does it,” is actually just bait thrown at those who “don’t say no.” Recognition without reward ultimately becomes a chain that wears you down.
[Case 2] Solo Entrepreneur: “The Engine That Burns Itself”
Mr. E, a solo entrepreneur who handles every process on his own, can’t stop even when he’s sick. This isn’t management; it’s “self-exploitation,” using himself as fuel. If he can’t create a system that operates without him, his business isn’t a successful one; it’s a fancy prison.
[Case 3] Life after Retirement: A Father Becomes a “Family Helper”
Mr. F, who dedicated his life to retirement, now enters a new cycle of diligence: caring for his grandchildren and doing housework. In this unpaid labor performed in the name of family, the very notion of “self” is lost. Love isn’t sustained by sacrifice alone. Drawing appropriate boundaries actually makes love last longer.
To prevent diligence from becoming abuse, we must examine whether we feel guilty about taking a short break. Refusal isn’t insincerity; it’s a sophisticated energy allocation technique. Instead of saying, “I’ll do it,” we need the courage to say, “That’s beyond my role.” Remember, your diligence isn’t a consumable, but a limited-edition resource, unique in the world.
Why People Who Live Harder Are More Anxious
The more intensely someone lives, the more anxious they become. Questions like, “Is this enough?” and “Am I the only one falling behind?” linger. Even when the body is resting, the mind is busy planning the next task.
이러한 불안감은 게으름 때문이 아니라 “잔혹한 책임감”에서 비롯됩니다. 우리는 아주 작은 실수라도 우리가 공들여 쌓아 올린 탑을 무너뜨릴까 봐 끊임없이 걱정합니다. 특히, 끊임없이 타인과 자신을 비교하게 만드는 사회 구조가 이러한 불안감을 부추깁니다. “다른 사람들도 나만큼 발전했어.”
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